My Gmail account gets exciting spam!

[wesleysgirl]

Your new mega size will make her scream with excitement!
Isn't it humiliating, when they call your package a "baby carrot"?
Don't let them laugh at you anymore! Use VPXL to get so needed extra inches for your stick!
http://andbrownpaper.com/
Order it today and you'll deserve a more encouraging definition of your new big sausage!

I have not clicked on that link, LOL, it scares me! "Baby carrot"? Would anyone ever say that?

You Don't please with your male machine size.
Girls laugh at you.
Now you can to solve this trouble.
Use our instrument e;nlargement and Women will love you surely enough.
Lots of men around the world have changed their sexual life.
http://www.swiminaocean.com

Seriously? "In a ocean"? I really like that random semi-colon in the middle of the word "enlargement," too.

Comments

[cheesygirl.livejournal.com]

Hee! I get so many emails like this here at work and they're all so concerned about my wee tiny penis. It must be tiny because I didn't even know I had one! :P

Ah yes, when I think of my dream man the exact phrase that comes to mind is "big sausage". *sigh*

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Now you can to solve this problem! ROFL.

Ah, spam. At least it amuses us sometimes. :-)

[lucifrix.livejournal.com]

I think the penile euphemisms (including what women supposedly say about penises) are the worst part of stuff like this. Sausage?? It's like reading bad gay porn.

[xanphibian.livejournal.com]

Baby carrot + stick = "interesting" imagery. D:

[nwhepcat.livejournal.com]

I know I, as a woman, spend 97% of my time laughing at the tiny fucksticks of men who need these products.

[adjovi.livejournal.com]

OMG I get spam constantly from megadik, and one of them was this poem:

That's great you've met a lass that's hot
You wanna plough her moistened twat.
She looks so sizzling, she's so nice!
But would your penile size suffice?
Not sure she will wish for more?
You need a wang she would adore!
But how to get it long and thick?
Your only chance is MegaDik!
You'll get so wanted super-size
And see wild craving in her eyes!
Your schlong will pound her pink so deep,
Tonight you'll hardly fall asleep!
So try today this wonder pill
That lets you change your life at will

(I'm a girl btw)