They paved paradise

[wesleysgirl]

This isn't the first time this has happened, so I shouldn't be surprised, but I'm still stunned and horrified. Fic that I loved, that I re-read multiple times when I was feeling low and really needed it, has been removed from the web because of interpersonal problems between fandom people.

I know the fic belongs to the writer. I do.

But that doesn't make me feel any less horrible when I discover something that I love is gone and I can never get it back. That doesn't happen with published fic, after all. There might be limited editions, you might have to pay a lot of money for a battered copy, but you can almost always GET a copy.

When the fic gets taken down, it's gone forever.

I'm sure some people will roll their eyes reading this, thinking that I'm being overly dramatic, that it's "just" fic.

But those stories were more than that to me. I'm genuinely devastated.

Eta - Yes, it's my own fault for not saving them. That just makes it suck more.

Comments

[betagoddess.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're being overly dramatic. In fact, I've been there myself a couple of times or more.

SOMEtimes you can find older fic with the Wayback Machine.

Wayback Machine (http://www.archive.org/web/web.php)

It's worth a try, believe me. =>}

Good luck!

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

I checked, but no luck. Thank you, though.

[treebee.livejournal.com]

Dude, I totally agree with this - the only thing worse is when an entire archive goes 'poof!' :(

In hindsight I always think 'I should have saved it!', but it never occurs to me until it's too late. As I'm reading, it never occurs to me that the story might go away some day. I think it's like you said, we are used to the idea of published fic - always available in some way or another.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

This was one author's entire site. God, I feel sick.

[spikes_heart.livejournal.com]

Poor baby. Tell me what you're missing, and I might be able to help you out from my 'library'. My HD is freaking loaded with some of everything.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

It's Atlantis fic -- all of Karen McFaddyn's fic. *Weeps*

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

But those stories were more than that to me. I'm genuinely devastated.

Ah, my dear, we are all there with you. If we haven't be actually (as probably most of us have after a few years) we still get shakes and shivers at the thought. It's not melodramatic or overly dramatic -- it's how we feel.

Maybe contact the author and ask for a private copy, specifying that you'll not put it up anywhere? That's worked in the past, for me.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

I did email the author but haven't heard back after her initial explanation that the entire site has been removed. I feel ill. I LOVED those stories.

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Oh, I hate it when that happens! It's the only thing that really makes me long for the good old days of usenet.

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

No, I know how you feel. some things that I bookmarked and re-read regularly just disappeared one day. You are not alone in this.

*hugs*

[elz.livejournal.com]

But that doesn't make me feel any less horrible when I discover something that I love is gone and I can never get it back.

I've definitely had that experience too. These days, I compulsively save things to my hard drive, but there's always a gem or two that falls through the cracks.

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

I'm just catching up on all the kerfuffling (from a nice, safe, totally uninvolved distance). Yes, it's sad. I do think it's their right to do it but it's still sad.

I now have this burning urge to spend tomorrow d/l fics I love just in case.

Promise me if you guys ever, heaven forbid, take down T&B, you'll give us a day's grace to do that? :;panics::

[byrne.livejournal.com]

If I ever give up my sites, I'll move heaven and earth to find T&B a home on someone's server, dear. Promise.

[wolfling]

Yeah, that sucks when that happens. I've been thinking about this myself lately; I've been going on a bit of a TS fic search the last few weeks, feeling a craving to read some of the old stories I loved back in the day what with it being on Space again now. One author who I used to hang with in senslash and whose stuff I loved seems to have disappeared off the internet and all her stories with her. Luckily some of her stuff had been zined and I do own copies so I was able to satisfy my urge to reread that way, but there's still a lot missing. That's one of the advantages of zines -- the fic can't suddenly disappear on you.

Err which is a long winded way of saying I agree that it sucks horribly. :)

[redwolfoz.livejournal.com]

Any chance they were uploaded to a fandom archive? ff.net? Or has the author been yanking those too?

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

I mourn the removal of a S/X called "Nothing to Grasp." Does anyone know it or have it?

How about the story "Dancing About Architecture"? I don't think it was ever finished, and I'm not even sure who wrote it, but it's gone.

I thought it was Alexandria's story, but she has a new site, and it's not on there.

I have a whole list of authors that are *NOT ALLOWED* to take down their fic and *WESLEYSGIRL* is definitely on there!!!

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

I'm not familiar with the first one, but Dancing About Architexture is here:

http://www.rosiesamfrodo.com/users/mcee/btvs/daa.html

Found Two

[redwolfoz.livejournal.com]

Drowning (http://www.livejournal.com/community/sga_flashfic/125407.html)

Galaxy of the Living Dead (http://www.livejournal.com/community/sga_flashfic/127025.html)

Re: Found Two

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :-)

Whew!

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

Hey, I found someone who has Karen's stories, and I can e-mail them to you when I get copies.

[forlornhope1865.livejournal.com]

But but but...I just discovered Karen's fic about a week ago. And the only one I saved was Mating Rituals. Now I'm feeling devastated too!!

If you'd like a copy of Mating Rituals, I have it saved in HTML. Let me know (forlornhope1865 at yahoo dot com). And could I ask you to pass some others along to me if you are able to get copies? I'd really appreciate it.

[fleurrochard]

I've sent her a zipfile with 12 stories - do you want that, too?

[djinanna.livejournal.com]

This first happened to me a couple years ago. The author was multi-fandom and I had read/loved her fic in 3-4 fandoms. I had never even thought to save anything before that point. I was able to get some things before they were deleted from archives, but in one fandom (a fandom where there were really only two writers, her and one other, who wrote the kind of stuff I wanted to read) I missed it all. She didn't leave LJ, though, and I kinda tried to get her to send me copies, but no go.

Really, on the one hand, I agree that the fic belongs to the writer. But on the other hand, I don't. Once it's been put out there, it should stay out there. Knowledge and art shouldn't be allowed to be lost, dammit!

I'm not sure if I have an archivists soul, or if it's an OCD hoarders soul. I suspect that if online fanfic were bits of string, rubber bands, and newspapers, there would only be small isles where I'd be able to move through my house. (Well, not really, because I still haven't saved off most of the fic I read/love. Which I'll probably regret many times in the future.)

Mostly, though, I have two different reactions. For those authors who, for RL reasons (like a pro writer whose publisher says "take it down"), I feel a lot of sympathy with them and rage at the system for being buttheads. For those authors who, because of kerfuffles and ego and other such childishness, take their stories down in a huff? It just seems so childish, so "cut your nose off to spite your face" and "I'm gonna take my toys and Go Home".

I've been innocently reading and squeeing in SGA fandom for a while now and *just* found out that there's been kerfuffling going on all year. I don't know any details of the who/what/why -- I take that back, I know of one or two who's, I think -- and I admit to a bit of curiousity about what all the fuss is about. If it's anything like every other kerfuffle I've encountered since I got on line, it's a combination of personality politics and sheer stupidity, along with innocent victims with hurt feelings. And I just want to squeeze all their heads and scream "what, are you twelve?!?"

I think the writer from my annecdote above *might* be involved. She's been involved in so many kerfuffles over the years, from what I understand. It's hard to say "oh, they're being mean to you" when it happens over and over like that. When, in my RL, I kept having the same bad things occur in relationship after relationship, eventually I stopped and said "hey, obviously *I* am contributing to this, too. I'm not *just* a total victim of the mean kids here. I need to get me hence to a therapist and figure out what *I* am doing wrong". But people who refuse to acknowledge their part in a kerfuffle -- even if their part is only "feeding the troll" by reacting to other peoples' idiocy by, say, tearing down their own websites....

::kicks fandom::

::hard::

And, sorry about ranting in your journal. This has been building up for me for several days now....

*hugs you* for losing some of the stories that delighted you. That totally sucks.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* I still haven't read enough to figure out what the kerfuffling is about, and I intend to keep it that way. I don't want to know. I'll just keep reading fic and watching the show and stay away the kerfuffles.

[xanphibian.livejournal.com]

I love you. Forgive me for never commenting. *HUGS*

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* It doesn't bother me at all, hon. There are TONS of people who read my journal who literally never comment -- you comment sometimes. And you post, so I know what you're up to. That's all that matters. *Smooch*

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

I know EXACTLY how you feel.

*snuggle*

(Look! Icon! *g* They are so adorable, and the fiction is stunning!)

[djinanna.livejournal.com]

Icon!

::adores::

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Oh no! I hate it when fic I love goes away. I'm so bad about saving them.

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

popslash has a fic-finding community that is open to the occasional 'the site's gone, but does anyone have a copy of xyz?' request - I suppose it's too much to hope that the fandom of your loss has similar?

[djinanna.livejournal.com]

Well, there's always the_rec_room, which is as multi-fandom as the members want it to be. (I know that for sure because, heh, I created it.)

*hugs you*

[lasultrix.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain. Sometimes I'm not sure I'll ever quite get over the fact that of the fics I read and adored when I first got into fandom, Harry Potter in 2002, very few remain in any form at all.

People ask me for HP recs because they know I spent years there, and I don't know where to point them.

[ngaio]

If you know the titles I've probably got them saved (actually, if you don't know the titles I've probably got them saved, but I don't know which ones they are!) and could send them to you? If you don't know the titles I could send them to you one at a time when I next reread all my saved SGA fic!?

Karen McFadyyon's fics in zip file on yousendit

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

asjbg responded to this post (http://www.livejournal.com/community/sgastoryfinders/28219.html) on sgastoryfinders and put what looks like all of Karen's stories in a zip file on yousendit.

The link is http://s4.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3KERIF8HLM6HW151C4YZQDWT95 (http://s4.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3KERIF8HLM6HW151C4YZQDWT95) and if it's no longer available (I was able to download it at 5 pm Eastern on Friday 9/16), just drop a line to asjbg.

Re: Karen McFadyyon's fics in zip file on yousendit

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you VERY MUCH. I was able to dl it without any trouble. I really appreciate it -- thanks. :-)