Kids' birthday party question

[wesleysgirl]

If your child is invited to a classmate's birthday party and the invitation says

You're Invited to a Party
For: Bob (and Jane and Sue)

and you know that the three children are triplets, is the way of wording the invitation the parent's way of telling you that you aren't expected to buy gifts for all three children? If you ARE meant to buy gifts for all three children, is it acceptable to spend less money on each child than you would have spent on just one? (If it were one classmate, and they've only been in class for a couple of months and didn't know each other before then, I'd probably spend $15 or so on a gift, based on the fact that the children aren't close friends and are in kindergarten. Should I still do that and only buy a gift for Bob? If I should buy gifts for all three kids, is it okay to spend less than $10 on each kid?)

Comments

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I'd go with buying one gift for the boy, and nothing for the girls -- or you could do something like spend twenty or so on the boy and get, oh, okay, they're too young, probably, but nail polish for the girls. Something little and cheap, just to be polite.

[annaalamode.livejournal.com]

get, oh, okay, they're too young, probably, but nail polish for the girls. Something little and cheap, just to be polite.

If you have some kind of discount party supply store in your area, this is a great place to buy little gifts. Stickers and/or bubbles and/or small rubber balls that bounce and/or coloring book or some package containing soome of those, makes the perfect extra gift. Kids love that kind of stuff and it is fairly inexpensive. (It saved my life when I was teaching kids.)

[annaalamode.livejournal.com]

I assume that Bob is the child that your son knows? If Jane and Sue are in his class than, yes, you probably should buy a present for each. If they aren't in the same kindergarten class as your son and Bob then the wording seems to suggest that presents for the other two aren't necessary. It sounds like a reminder that the party isn't just for Bob.

If you feel like you need to buy presents for all three, it is perfectly okay to spend less than $10/child.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

They're all in his class, and I bought smallish but hopefully fun gifts for all three of them today. I shopped at AJ Wright, which is kind of like Marshall's (maybe you won't know what either of those are, I can never remember which stores are nationwide, LOL) -- nice stuff, discounted for a variety of reasons.

Thank you!

[justhuman.livejournal.com]

I suspect that the friends of the girls all got invitations and will be focussing on them. I'd spend the $10-15 on Bob and then pick up a couple of less than $5 items for the girls -- maybe hair things or something like that, just a token.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Yes, very good advice. Thank you!

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

I would buy a gift for the classmate of your friend...and then maybe a token something for the other kids. Or a card maybe, with $5 in it...as I think the invitation is meant to invite your son to the birthday of his classmate.

I didn't explain that very well.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

No, you did, and since a couple of other people have said pretty much the same thing I think I'm going to go with that. Thank you! :-)

[way2busymom.livejournal.com]

They way I take that wording is your son is being invited by Bob to his party. Since he's a triplet, his sisters will also be there celebrating. So in the interest of let's be reasonable, I'd spend a bit more money on the present for the boy & buy less expensive gifts for the girls. My girls loved getting hair barrettes, nail polish, funky novelty socks, stickers, & craft kits. You could probably spend very little $$ & get a lot of neat little goodies that would make them happy.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I think that's what I'm going to do. Gift for the boy, a couple of less expensive small gifts for the girls. :-)

[janedavitt.livejournal.com]

God, that's confusing! I'd go with what everyone has said (unless you know the mum well enough to call her and be disarmingly frank). Get the boy a nice present and the girls tokens. When I RSVP, unless I know the child well, I usually ask what they're into and get some ideas off the mum; sometimes they're just names and I don't have the foggiest if they're Barbie pink girls, or into crafts in a big way or obsessed with dinosaurs... you could tactfully sound her out. "And the girls; what about them?' 'Oh, you don't need to buy for them! Your son's {boy]'s guest!'

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Ooh yes, very good idea. I think I am going to go with the "gift for the boy, smaller token gifts for the girls." I suspect a couple of the small Littlest Pet Shop sets (one little animal with a couple of accessories) would do for the girls, as animals seem to be popular with all kids this age and even the boy likes them, but I'll see what I come up with when I go to the store. :-)

[kristinholt.livejournal.com]

I would spend more on the child that is closest to my kid, and a bit less on his siblings. But more importantly, do whatever your heart (and wallet) prompt. ;-)

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

They're all in his class, and when I phoned to RSVP one of the little girls was home sick and the mom said, "Oh, I'll tell her he's coming, she'll be really happy." I bought a small but hopefully fun gift for each of them this afternoon (little pastel Pegasus horses with fairy girls riding them for the two girls, a little set of 2 friction Monster Trucks for the boy.) Thank you. :-)

[kristinholt.livejournal.com]

Anytime!

[dawnie1970.livejournal.com]

I would get something for all the kids, and spend what I could afford. I think each kid would prefer to be seen as an individual. :)

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

*Grin* That's what I ended up doing. I didn't spend much (went to AJ Wright, which is newish here but kind of like Marshall's) but it seemed nicest to give each of them something, even if it was a small something. :-) Thank you!

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

The wording seems phrased to say 'Your child is invited to Bob's party (which Bob will be sharing with his two sisters'. Other people have said the same thing I'm about to:

Get Bob a gift you can afford and get a card or something small for the sisters.

Having triplets who all go to the same school has got to be difficult and I can only guess that the family sat down and divided up mutual aquintances and friends between the three children (thus the cards) so parents wouldn't feel obligated to buy three sets of presents.

*hugs*

I take it this means he's going? Sweet. I can't remember my first non-family party that was held in school (though we used to have the pictures) but I can remember the first one held -outside- of school. And it's a nice little memory of me having fun. I think it might also have inspired me to want to have a birthday party of my own and invite people other than family. Your boy's likely to be thrilled.

(PS: If he's not going, but you'd still like to give Bob a gift, that's also a nice touch. That way when the kids are talking about the party, he can say he had to go somewhere with his parents but he sent Bob a gift and thus gain a little empathy and inclusion)

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Yes, he's going. :-) I discovered that the party is less than a mile and half from our house, so I decided I could take deep breaths and allow my mom to drive him. I ended up buying a small gift for each of the three kids this afternoon -- I know at this age the boy can be sensitive about imagined slights, and even though I think he's particularly sensitive overall, I'd rather give each of them something that cost $6 than spend $15 on the little boy but give his sisters nothing. When they're older, they'll understand, but at this age they probably can't tell the difference between a $5 and a $15 gift anyway...

Plus it gives my boy and my mom something to do while we're gone. ;-)