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[personal profile] wesleysgirl
They creep upstairs quietly even though the hotel is silent now. Silent without electricity is a lot more silent than silent with electricity ever is. Xander can hear every creak of the building, and can't help but worry that the whole thing might come falling down around them. Which is on top of the worry about what Angel might do to him if he gets it into his head to come after Xander again.

When they get to the top of the stairs, Xander points Doyle in the right direction and they head in it. Xander's hand is throbbing in time with his heartbeat, which is going at a tempo that a thrash band would envy. He wishes he could just turn and walk away from all this.

He wishes there were somewhere to go.

Xander peers cautiously around the doorway, motioning to Doyle to keep back, but the other guy ignores him and steps into the room.

Past the shorter man's shoulder, Xander sees Spike lying on his side on the floor, legs bare. He's covered in blood -- seriously covered. If he wasn't a vampire, he'd be dead.

Xander's first instinct, to go to Spike, is kept in check by his fear of Angel, and he hesitates long enough for Doyle to walk further into the room. Xander's gaze darts everywhere, into every part of the room he can see, but there's no sign of Angel. "Careful," he warns Doyle, but Doyle just flaps a hand at him like he's unconcerned. Xander can tell it's an act, though.

"He's in the bathroom," Doyle says, nodding in that direction.

Xander gives him a look, even though his eye's drawn back to Spike, lying crumpled on the floor, unmoving. "How do you know?" It's not like there's a blood trail or anything.

"I can smell him."

That's enough of an echo of what Angel had said before that it sends a shiver down Xander's spine. "Okay, just... hang on, okay? Wait for me." They're both talking in a whisper, which is stupid because Angel can probably hear them anyway.

Xander goes over to Spike and gets down on the floor next to him, reaching out with his good hand and touching Spike's shoulder.

"Spike. Spike?" The vampire stirs and makes a small angry sound. "Shh."

Spike rolls over, and his face looks as bad as it did after Glory, which was pretty bad. Xander remembers because he'd been grateful, at the time, that Spike hadn't told Glory about Dawn, even if he'd never have said so. "Bugger," Spike mumbles, and Xander winces.

"Yeah. Seems like we've got that in common." Xander glances at Doyle, who's waiting, but looking tense. "I brought someone who can help. Can you get out of here on your own steam?"

Spike licks his lips painfully. "Can't even feel my feet," he says. "Go on. Do what you have to. He won't dust me. Would have already, if he was going to."

Xander doesn't know what else to do -- it's not like he's going to leave Doyle alone to deal with Angel. "What if all three of us get the hell out of here?" he whispers at Doyle across the space between them.

Doyle shakes his head. "I'm not leaving him."

Well, it had been worth a shot. Xander gets up and follows Doyle to the bathroom doorway.

Angel's inside, standing with both hands braced on the sink and looking into the mirror that doesn't reflect his image back at him.

"Angel?" Doyle says. "It's me. Doyle. Listen... I know it's been a long time..."

"You're dead," Angel says, unmoving. His hands, Xander notes, are bloody. "Just like Cordy, and Wesley, and..." He shudders. "Everyone's dead. I know. They talk to me."

Doyle takes one step into the bathroom. "I'm back."

"You're dead." Angel's voice is empty. "I can hear you, in my head, but it's not real."

"I'm real," Doyle says, taking three more steps and touching Angel's arm. "There. Can you feel that? It's me. I came back to help you."

Xander's tense, watching, waiting. He knows that if Angel decides to turn on Doyle, there's not really much he can do to stop it. It's a really shitty feeling, but on the other hand, it's not all that different from the feeling he's had for weeks, even if before he had Willow and now he's got... no one. Spike, maybe, although that's not saying much.

"You can't be real," Angel whispers, but he lets Doyle turn him around slowly.

"I'm real," Doyle says again.

Angel reaches up a hand that's trembling and touches Doyle's cheek. "Doyle?"

Doyle puts his own hand over Angel's and holds it against his face. "Yeah, Angel. It's me."

And Angel folds up and sinks down onto the floor, shaking with silent tears. His face is pressed to Doyle's chest, and Doyle puts both arms around him and holds on.

Date: 2005-09-04 12:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] timeofchange.livejournal.com
Oh God. Everything is just so fucked up and sad. I love it.

Date: 2005-09-04 12:42 am (UTC)
tabaqui: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tabaqui
Ahhhhhhhh!!!
I'm glad Doyle is there. I'm glad Xander gave a damn about Spike.
*bounce*

Oh, so good.

Date: 2005-09-04 01:57 am (UTC)
ext_12410: (the melancholy icon)
From: [identity profile] tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com
wahh! oh man, this is horrible. er. i mean everyone and everything is so fucked up, and doyle being there seems more bitter than sweet. altho i really like him - he's very calm and sure, and they kind of need that.

Date: 2005-09-04 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soraidh.livejournal.com
Oh wow. This is really quite heartbreakingly excellent. Doyle's return isn't something I expected. I look forward to seeing where this goes.

Date: 2005-09-04 02:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crush3d-vi0lets.livejournal.com
Ouch. and more Ouch! I feel for poor Spike; I'm glad to see Xander cares (as much as he can anyway...); I hope Doyle will shed some light on the horrible situation and maybe start to put Angel back together...

Date: 2005-09-04 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] julia-here.livejournal.com
Great, sad, touching moment, and I can only hope something is going to get a little better for however limited a time.

Julia, trying to keep my expectations reasonable

Date: 2005-09-04 03:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mpoetess.livejournal.com
So good to see Doyle get through to Angel - even if only for the moment.

Date: 2005-09-04 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoxerella.livejournal.com
Don't mind me, I'm just going to be over here in the corner sobbing. This was another great chapter of the heartbreaking world you've created here.

Date: 2005-09-04 04:31 am (UTC)
herself_nyc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] herself_nyc
Well, THAT was cathartic!

Date: 2005-09-04 07:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jescaflowne.livejournal.com
Discovered this fic today. Just wanted to say I'm enjoying it. Angel can be such a wanker but everyone loves his boys!

Date: 2005-09-04 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chlare.livejournal.com
Aww. Doyle/Angel! Just Aww. :)

Date: 2005-09-04 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cindershadow.livejournal.com
This continues to be completely enthralling.

Thanks!

Date: 2005-09-04 07:27 pm (UTC)
ext_1947: (Default)
From: [identity profile] goddessleila.livejournal.com
Oh, wow. Intense and fucked up and almost sweet at the same time. But not quite.

Date: 2005-09-04 10:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mythologian.livejournal.com
this story still scares me... but man I'm really loving it despite that O_o;; yes I know I'm twisted >_

Date: 2005-09-05 12:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] piratepurple.livejournal.com
I got here through a recommendation from... um [livejournal.com profile] beetle, I think? This is really really good! I'm hooked. Can I friend you, so I don't miss any updates?

Date: 2005-09-05 12:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wesleysgirl.livejournal.com
Absolutely. Feel free. :-)

Date: 2005-09-07 03:16 am (UTC)
ext_1124: (a_s holdmy hand by extraflamey)
From: [identity profile] rainkatt.livejournal.com
I love this. Angel's really messed up, but so are Xander and Spike. Loving Doyle beyond words.

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