Headful of Ghosts, pt 12

[wesleysgirl]

Spike hesitates. "You gonna be all right?"

"Compared to what?" Harris asks. He gets up carefully, twisting a fold of the sheet in his fist to keep himself covered and looking around on the floor at his shredded clothes. He bends over and picks up part of his trousers, and Spike turns to go. "Spike?"

He looks back. "Yeah?"

Harris lets the trousers fall to the floor. In his good hand, along with the bunched up sheet, is a stake. "If he touches me again, he's dust."

There's a long pause in which Spike waits to feel something about that statement.

Then he shrugs and nods. "Yeah, all right," he says, and goes out to look for Angel.

* * * * *

For once, Angel hasn't gone far. He's ten steps from the front door of the hotel, huddled in the shadow there and looking out at the sunshine. "Go away, Spike," he says as soon as Spike opens the door.

"Wondered where you'd run off to," Spike says, leaning against the door frame and keeping his voice casual.

"It's over," Angel says. "I'm going to end it."

"Oh, please. Stop talking nonsense and come inside." Spike waits until Angel glances in his direction to roll his eyes.

Angel shakes his head. "I can't do this anymore. I'm... something's wrong. In my head."

"As if that's news," Spike says.

"I'm just going to keep hurting people, and I can't -- you don't know what it's like." Angel looks longingly at the sunlight, trembling.

Spike shifts toward Angel a bit. "I bloody well do. I know exactly what it's like. Work with me here, Angel. We'll find a way to stop it."

"You don't want to help me," Angel says.

"Well, no, I don't really want to, but I will." Spike knows from the look Angel gives him that this was the wrong thing to say, which is frustrating and maddening. "Come on."

"No. You can't stop me when I get like that; you know it, and so do I. But I can stop myself. I can end it, right now." Angel looks out at the sunlight again, tensing like he's readying himself.

Spike sighs like he doesn't care one way or the other. "Fine. Do whatever you want. Dust yourself if it makes you feel better." He starts to turn away, listening intently. "I just thought you were in this for the long haul. All those inspirational speeches about saving the world... thought you believed it."

Angel's hesitating, thinking about it. "I did. I --" He gasps, and there's the sound of his head hitting the side of the building hard. "Oh God. I can feel... no. No."

Taking advantage of the moment, Spike turns and goes to him, getting a hand between Angel's head and the wall. "Fucking hell," Spike says as his knuckles absorb the force of the next blow. "Angel?"

"People," Angel whimpers, clawing at his head. "I don't know why they're showing me this. They're already dead, so why... there's nothing I can do. I can't help them." He claws at the wall, fingertips tearing open and leaving bloody prints on it. "It has to stop. It has to... stop. Make it stop."

"Would if I could, mate," Spike says, sitting down next to him and leaving his hand on the side of Angel's head.

Comments

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

*curls against you and cries*

So. Good.

[sottovoce10.livejournal.com]

This is fascinating, Spike's almost indifference, and yet just enough something that even he doesn't understand to keep doing what's needed. Love him to pieces.

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

"I just thought you were in this for the long haul. All those inspirational speeches about saving the world... thought you believed it."


Totally and utterly Spike-speak. His seeming indifference- except I think there's a part of him that worries that if Angel does go, he'll be all alone. Truly.

[mpoetess.livejournal.com]

*whimpers*

[cafedemonde.livejournal.com]

my heart bleeds for my poor, poor boys. They need Dru. She could figure it all out. Being crazy and all herself.

Soooo adores you.

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

Having a sort of nonverbal afternoon, but: still reading, more involved with every post, and amazed by the sheer evocative emotion of every word of this.

Julia, or, like:WOW

[timeofchange.livejournal.com]

So good. I like the tightness of the language. Not an extra word.

[greenstone-j.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is just so good, I love having lots of it to read when I get back to the computer. What is going on for Angel? and I don't think I could adore Spike more. *Awaits eagerly for more*

[elizaria.livejournal.com]

you're good at the hurting, the pain and there's no end to it... like black hole of despair.

But I can't stop reading cause it's so good. Wellwritten hardcore angst!

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

>>There's a long pause in which Spike waits to feel something about that statement.<<

*shiver* that's everything right there. except eventually he DOES feel something.... even if he pretends he doesn't.

[minitrog.livejournal.com]

This is providing my Daily Shiver. Excellent.

[goddessleila.livejournal.com]

visions? Oh, man. Angel's got the visions? No wonder he's going nuts.

[cindershadow.livejournal.com]

Powerful, eerie, emotional . . . wow.

[altyronsmaker.livejournal.com]

I'm really liking this. Not really sure why, cuz unless he's angleus, Angel is a good guy to me. But dayam. I'm hooked. Line. and Sinker.

I think you've nailed Xander, he just sounds so raw and real to me, ike s6. And Spike, world weary, but so in it. Love it.

[tabaqui]

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!
Oh, i love it, love it.

Spike's - on autopilot or something and...damn.
And Angel...and Xander...
*wibble*

Love this.
:)

[chlare.livejournal.com]

Aww, Spike feeling so apathetic, but then still caring when it counts.