Mental health stuff, not flocked

[wesleysgirl]

I hope everyone understands why I post most of my personal stuff locked to my friends list. But in this case I wanted to thank everyone who responded to my post about anti-depressants -- because I'm really very grateful for everyone's thoughts even though I was never able to respond -- ...

I've been on Paxil for six days (10 mg/day until I've been on it a week, then 20 mg/day.) I'm really, really drowsy most of the time, occasionally sort of dizzy, and pretty fuzzy-headed too. Is this the kind of thing other people have experienced? I'm still having anxiety attacks, and they seem to be a bit less severe although it's hard to tell because the intensity/frequency is always a rollercoaster sort of thing, sometimes more, sometimes less. But I'm so fuzzy that I can't write. I open files and look at stories and just sort of stare at them, unable to summon up any kind of feeling for them at all. Reassure me that this won't last forever? It's scary.

Also, is it twisted that I've had 100 icons slots for quite a while and I still only have 54 icons?

Comments

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I cut out all caffeine weeks ago and I do try to meditate, although I find that when my body is having a fight or flight kind of adrenaline/anxiety reaction it's pretty hard to get anywhere with it.

I have a three month prescription so unless anything drastic happens I'm pretty committed to giving it that much time to set things right for me. If I'm unimpressed at the end of that time I suppose it will be on to the next possibility.

[neverneverfic.livejournal.com]

*nods* that sounds sensible.

as for the meditation, when i'm uber-anxious i find meditation to be absolutely unbearable. there is just too much going on when my system is spazzing like that for me to be able to get to a meditative space.

when i'm having a panic attack, or just a day of much anxiety there are two visualizations i like to do. (and i realize you didn't ask for me to blabber about this, so feel free to skip)

one is breathing in calming colors. i picture a color that seems to represent calm and peace for me and i see myself as surrounded by a mist of that color. then i see myself inhaling the color, see it spreading throughout my body bringing calm and peace to all parts of me. it's not a perfect exercise and it doesn't always work, but it tends to make things bearable for me.

the other thing i do is a sort of basic grounding exercise. when i have a panic attack, as opposed to my baseline high anxiety, i often start to feel disconnected from the world. all that exists is me and my anxiety and i feel like i'm spiralling in on myself until i'll never exist as anything but a ball of crazy. so i try to ground myself. ideally i go outside to do this and put my feet directly onto the earth, but that isn't always an option. basically i put my feet on the ground and try to really feel that connection. and i touch whatever else i can that is solid and try to feel those connections. i picture myself growing roots into the ground so that i am fully connected to something and not in danger of disappearing. sometimes i also picture all my anxiety flowing down through the roots into the earth where it will be rendered harmless.

again, not perfect, not a complete fix-it dealie, but it often takes me out of crisis enough that i can manage.

now ends the unsolicited advice portion of the evening.

oh wait, one other bit, remember that things will get better, if it's not paxil you'll find something else, you are strong and you will get through this. and remember to keep breathing. *hugs you tight* *wishes you much peace*