wesleysgirl (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wesleysgirl) wrote2006-11-30 05:36 pm
wesleysgirl) wrote2006-11-30 05:36 pm
La la posting, la la friending, la la monkeys
Apparently I feel like posting tonight when I really should be making dinner. Okay, actually, dinner is mostly made. The chicken for the cashew chicken is marinating, the brown rice is cooking, the broccoli is cut and washed and steamed. The actual stir-frying isn't done until the last minute.
I feel some guilt about the fact that I don't friend everyone who friends me. Which is possibly stupid. I don't have a policy, I only have complete randomness. But I don't want anyone to feel bad about the fact that I haven't friended them. The reality is, most of my non-public posts are simply flocked (not filtered) and most of my filtered posts are filtered to one person for co-writing purposes. Most of my flocked posts are personal. The recent ones have been about the boy being sick, the cat being sick, a wedding we went to, and family stuff. Things that plenty of y'all probably wouldn't be all that interested in reading about anyway, but, more importantly, stuff that might be recognizable to people I know not-on-the-internet. I'm pretty reluctant to friend new people these days, even people whose LJ's I WANT to read, because I'm hyper-conscious of the fact that they'll be able to read my flocked posts (and I couldn't possibly keep lots of filters straight in my head. Although if anyone has advice on that front, I guess that would be cool.)
In any case, if you care, the best way to get friended by me is probably to actually comment to my posts often enough that I start to feel like I know you, because then I won't be so hesitant to give you access to my flocked posts. I feel pretty comfy with Jossverse fans, but I don't hang out with many Spn or SGA fans (except for those who migrated from Jossverse) or in those fandoms' communities, so I don't have quite a few people's LJs friended that I might otherwise.
I wasn't this paranoid when I entered fandom, I swear! I'm not sure how it happened. I think I witnessed too many incidents in which people got outed as fans or slash writers by accident. Which sucks. But it's not like I'm going to ask people to sign a form swearing that they won't reveal my everyday identity if they want me to friend them. And maybe no one wants me to friend them anyway!
Ha ha ha ha! *Is crazy*
I feel some guilt about the fact that I don't friend everyone who friends me. Which is possibly stupid. I don't have a policy, I only have complete randomness. But I don't want anyone to feel bad about the fact that I haven't friended them. The reality is, most of my non-public posts are simply flocked (not filtered) and most of my filtered posts are filtered to one person for co-writing purposes. Most of my flocked posts are personal. The recent ones have been about the boy being sick, the cat being sick, a wedding we went to, and family stuff. Things that plenty of y'all probably wouldn't be all that interested in reading about anyway, but, more importantly, stuff that might be recognizable to people I know not-on-the-internet. I'm pretty reluctant to friend new people these days, even people whose LJ's I WANT to read, because I'm hyper-conscious of the fact that they'll be able to read my flocked posts (and I couldn't possibly keep lots of filters straight in my head. Although if anyone has advice on that front, I guess that would be cool.)
In any case, if you care, the best way to get friended by me is probably to actually comment to my posts often enough that I start to feel like I know you, because then I won't be so hesitant to give you access to my flocked posts. I feel pretty comfy with Jossverse fans, but I don't hang out with many Spn or SGA fans (except for those who migrated from Jossverse) or in those fandoms' communities, so I don't have quite a few people's LJs friended that I might otherwise.
I wasn't this paranoid when I entered fandom, I swear! I'm not sure how it happened. I think I witnessed too many incidents in which people got outed as fans or slash writers by accident. Which sucks. But it's not like I'm going to ask people to sign a form swearing that they won't reveal my everyday identity if they want me to friend them. And maybe no one wants me to friend them anyway!
Ha ha ha ha! *Is crazy*
no subject
I just wanted to relate a bit of my situation because it is kind of relevant on a much smaller scale. I have a locked down journal that used to be fannish. I have not written fic in well over a year and I am now very paranoid about friending people, even when they interest me and I want to read them. It is a paranoia that is work related and also just me not wanting to inflict my personal drama on unsuspecting people. And yet there are people that have friended me since I locked my journal and I don't know why and my paranoid self has not friended them back. I don't have the exposure that you do, but I understand what you are saying.
Also, as someone that did have the Buffy BNF's friended at one point, I just want to let you know that at no point have I ever been hurt that people did not friend me back. I think that most of us that don't get friended in return by the people that have large reading lists understand the time issue and the privacy issue. I defriended the people that did not friend me in return when I had a scare about my smutty slash writing self possibly being outed at work. It was my being paranoid, not the not being friended in return thing that led me defriending people.
This was relevant when I first started typing, really. Maybe. Anyway, I relate a bit to what you are saying here. The social implications can be very daunting when I think about them, but as someone that knows your name even though we don't interact, I think you are one of the good ones in fandom. Don't worry. You aren't making anyone feel bad by not friending them, at least I hope not.
I really wrote a lot here, I apparently have more issues than I was aware of when I started this comment to say don't worry. Sorry for the ramble. I worry about the friending thing too, but I have been on the not friended side and it didn't make me feel bad.
no subject
*Hugs* I liked the ramble. It was good. :-)